Indian wedding expenses getting out of hand

Reflecting on our own wedding highlighted a significant issue within our culture: the excessive spending on weddings to meet the expectations of our families, neighbours and religious communities. Social media and our deeply rooted culture of comparison and competition have led to a wasteful practice of overspending, often pushing us beyond our financial limits.

Weddings, meant to be joyful celebrations of love, laughter, and blessings for the couple, have unfortunately turned into showcases of wealth. For many guests, the banquet is the main attraction, with the quality of the food often being the measure of the wedding's success. The emphasis has regrettably moved away from the sacred union and the importance of family connections, shifting instead to superficial aspects like the bride's jewellery, the number of clergy in attendance, and the extravagance of the meal.

This shift creates deep anxiety, and sometimes even depression, for those planning their big day. Many families find themselves in significant debt or parents losing their retirement savings while keeping up with the Jones, especially when dowry or "gifts" from the bride's family are involved. Although dowry is illegal, it remains deeply entrenched in Indian culture and is still widely practised. Meanwhile, warm-hearted aunties can't resist inquiring about the amount given by the bride's family, “Ethra kitti”, perpetuating this harmful tradition.

Here's a list of some major expenses:

• Event management

• Engagement ceremony

• Wedding ceremony

• Wedding hall

• Decoration

• Gold jewelry

• Makeup artist

• Expensive diamond jewelry with little to no resale value

• Fake jewelry for volume

• Wedding sarees

• Wedding suits

• Outfits for relatives

• Photography

• Videography

• Reception hall

• Wedding car rental

• Transportation

• Envelopes for priests, with a special one for the Bishop if invited

In addition, many Malayalees are adopting the elaborate wedding practices from Northern India. The ceremonies are all fun and joyful, but when it comes to spending, many young Malayalees believe it is their parents' responsibility. While this is ultimately at the parents' discretion, if you're a middle-class family, this expectation could eat into your retirement and healthcare savings. Parents need to understand that majority of the Gen-Z kids does not view supporting their parents at old age as a duty, which could leave you entirely reliant on your child's income, potentially compromising your dignity in old age.

As the excitement fades and social media posts become a distant memory, many find themselves facing depleted bank accounts and mounting debt, particularly with arranged marriages. The pressure to maintain appearances can lead to financial strain, stress, and even divorce. Instead of succumbing to excessive spending, why not take a step back and reassess your priorities? Seeking advice from a financial advisor before making major decisions can help couples avoid depleting their savings or their parents' hard-earned money. Choosing a more modest wedding can free up funds for other important investments like a dream vacation, a down payment on a home, a start-up business, or for continuing education.

At CupidClub, we not only help single Malayalees connect but also provide guidance on building healthy and long-lasting relationships.